Ever experienced walking through a crowd, feeling a sense of shame. A thought comes in, that people are looking at you, what will they think. You timidly look at a guy’s dressing, his fit body, and then you stop looking at him. You quickly divert your stare towards the ground, walking, thinking you are not good enough for him.
Ever experienced going to a party, see a girl dance, every move in sync with the beats of the song. You back off, and think, you can’t dance like her. You won’t look smart like her. You can’t dress like her.
If you don’t, well read on. It’s good to know what others go through. So, if you have felt that before, once again, you are not alone. I go through this, and millions of others as well.
This thought, that you are not enough, you can’t be smart, you don’t have what it takes. It’s a defense mechanism in our body. Our mind comes up with answers for our insecurities. It does us so much harm.
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem. Oops! Counter intuitive
People who you think are outspoken, smart, and confident, are those who are either blessed with a fit body and good metabolism. Or most likely, they have accepted themselves. They feel satisfied with how ever they look and speak. And with this satisfaction comes confidence. And confidence is so charismatic.
My point here? Look up. Once you go into a gathering. Don’t waste the opportunity staring at the ground feeling left out. Don’t let the feeling, that you don’t belong here, bother you. This thought alone can be demotivating and the easiest escape from this feeling is to leave that place
I ask you to challenge that thought. Look up, look at people. Observe those that leave a positive impression on you. Understand, they are just as human as you with their own set of problems. What sets them apart is their confidence. Their confidence in themselves. Once you are confident. You put your insecurities out there, acknowledging them.
It’s insecurity that is always chasing you and standing in the way of your dreams.
The thing is. These thoughts that come up are quite similar to bullying. A subconscious bully that is eating you up. The next time you feel uncomfortable. Breathe in deeply. Look up. Have a smile on your face. And have no fare staring right into the eyes of anyone and everyone. In the end, if you want to change. Like really change. You must challenge your thoughts. You have to prove your thoughts and body that you are better than this.
Your thoughts are just like your mother. Wanting to keep you safe from all the worldly troubles. But you know what. There will be times you will go up and break down. You won’t perform as you would like. You will stutter once you speak. Your moves won’t be fast enough for the music. And people, being humans, would boo you. But if you can channel that embarrassment properly, it should motivate you to prove them wrong. And as time passes by, as you make it a habit to do things you fear. Your fear will subside.
You got one life. You got one body. There is no point in hiding. In wishing you were someone else. Go out and make the most out of what you have!
Confidence is not, “They will like me”. Confidence is, “I will be fine if they don’t”.